First of all - don’t react to it, act based on what is behind it.

Srila Bhakti Tirtha Swami explained that all transactions are motivated by one of two things: a desire to show love, and a cry for help.

I find this to be an excellent model to use.

In the case where it is a cry for help, someone may be acting out of pain. Inside they are frustrated, unhappy, or hurting in some way, and this is how it comes out. This person needs help.

In the case where it is a show of love, then we have to be careful to not misinterpret this and reflexively strike out.

If a person feels frustrated because they are unable to influence us, they may resort to trying to force us to react through a stinging criticism. They manage to capture the initiative and control our behaviour if we respond to that. The energy of the criticism will dissipate if we refrain from responding, and then we can deal in a more dispassionate way with the wider context of the situation.

If your heart is large enough to envelop your adversaries, you can see right through them and avoid their attacks. And once you envelop them, you will be able to guide them along a path indicated to you by heaven and earth.

Opponents confront us continually, but actually there is no opponent there. Enter deeply into an attack and neutralize it as you draw that misdirected force into your own sphere.

- Morihei Ueshiba, Art of Peace

I’m going to relate two shining examples from Sri Caitanya-caritamrita, taking the dust from the lotus feet of my learned and devoted Godbrother Vidyapati das before I do so, and then share two powerful disciplines that I strive to practice to develop this behaviour.

There are two events in Sri Caitanya caritamrita that I personally meditate on as examples of dealing with criticism. The first is the occasion that Nityananda prabhu and Haridas Thakura encountered the two brothers Jagai and Madhai. These two fallen sons of a high class family were drunkards, womanizers and robbers.

When Sri Nityananda and Haridas approached them to beg them to chant the Hare Krishna mantra, the two brothers responded by first of all attacking them with words. Haridas wanted to leave, which is obviously what the two brothers wanted, and tried to persuade Lord Nityananda to accompany him. Lord Nityananda persisted, and the two brothers escalated from words to physical violence, throwing a jug at Lord Nityananda and cutting his head. Still Lord Nityananda refused to respond on the same level, and continued to beg them, saying: “I don’t mind what you have done to me. Please chant the Holy Name of Sri Hari.”

When we begin an interaction with someone we do so on a particular level. When they respond to us it may be on a different level. The natural tendency is for our reciprocation to then approach their level, either going up, or down. In this way the exchange is negotiated. In this example, although Lord Nityananda approached the two brothers in good faith and good will, they reciprocated with very negative emotions. However, Lord Nityananda continued to give uplifting energy to them, even as they continued to escalate their negative response.

The result of the exchange is that the two brothers finally fell at the feet of Lord Nityananda and begged for his forgiveness, understanding Him to be a transcendental personality in a completely different category of consciousness from themselves. He wasn’t playing the same game they were.

You can see this in a microcosm on Harinam, if you ever go out chanting on the street. Look at people and smile. You will see some of them dismiss you with their glance, or scowl. Continue to smile and look at them, and you will see their heart melt.

Your spirit is the true shield.

- Morihei Ueshiba, Art of Peace

The second example takes place when Sri Ramacandra Puri criticises Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu for supposedly eating too much. Rather than responding to the unjust accusation Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu instead absorbs the energy of the criticism by humbly accepting it. The result is that Sri Ramacandra Puri ruins his own reputation with the devotees.

To injure an opponent is to injure yourself.

- Morihei Ueshiba, Art of Peace

Let me give one other example, which serves as a counter point. In the huge Vedic sacrifice organized by Daksa an argument begins between Daksa and his Aryan brahmanas on one side, and the followers of Lord Shiva on the other. First of all Daksa and the Aryan brahmanas begin to run Lord Shiva down. The followers of Lord Shiva respond on the same level. The situation escalates. Finally it ends up in violence and everyone is ruined.

I will share the two disciplines that I personally strive to practice in a further post, as this one is already long, and the further information is non-trivial.