Yesterday while Prahlad and I were waiting around in Govindas before going to the Loft a lady approached us and began conversing. She sat down at the table and asked about my son, making many compliments about him.

After some time she began to reveal her situation to me. Less than a year ago she had been deserted by her husband of more than 10 years for another woman. 40% of all marriages in Australia end in divorce. She was very, very hurt by what had happened.

She was especially hurt because she said that they were happy together (the husband and the other woman).

She said that her husband left her because he said that she was “immature”.

My take on this is that it was his responsibility to make a proper decision at the beginning. What is the saying…? “Marry at haste, repent at leisure.”

That’s no longer applicable. As Britney Spears modelled, you can marry at haste and repent the next day in the new millenium.

But really, it is the responsibility of the parties to marriage to make sure, to the best of their abilities, that they are marrying the “right person”. Then once they are married they have a responsibility to make it work. It may be 70% preparation (making sure that you marry the “right person”) and 30% hard work, or 30% preparation and 70% hard work. With a commitment from both parties to the relationship it can be made to work.

However, with the modern culture of divorce, it is amazing how often people “discover they have married the wrong person”. Especially when someone else comes along.

For all its faults, the culture of no divorce forces people to commit and be accountable for their relationship. Today’s society encourages people to be unaccountable for their relationship and relinquish ownership. Before, you had to make it work. You had to work. Of course some people didn’t, and some people suffered, and some were abused. But by and large women did not have to worry about being abandoned as much as they do now.

Now here’s a twist. This lady told me: “It’s not right that the man should leave the woman. Usually the woman leaves the man.”

Now when she was saying this, my mind went back to this article that I blogged a week or so back. Doh! Archived! I should have lifted the text.

Anyway, I remember the important parts. 40% of Australian marriages end in divorce, and in 55% of cases the man is surprised, rating the relationship as up to 8 out of 10, right up to the last minute. In only 38% of cases is the woman surprised.

So it seems that she is right. Women are doing a lot of the dumping.