Here is the first in the post-Gay-Marriage series, projecting strategic direction in preaching over the next twenty years.

Gay Marriage is a Given

The question of whether ISKCON should recognise Gay marriage is moot. Either we face up to reality or not. We are not about to institute Gay marriage, but it is about to appear on the scene nevertheless. (ref: The Inevitability of Gay Marriage) Wasting time on this point is like debating about “whether women should be independent or not”. They are. Deal with it.

Focus on the Right Issue

Gay Marriage - right or wrong, good or bad?

Who cares. It’s here. Formulate a strategic response.

The number of openly gay people is increasing all the time. I don’t have statistics at my finger tips on this one [1], but the success of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy is both an indicator and an impulsor. My own observation of the crowd on the street on Harinam every Friday also indicates a growing number of openly gay people. What are we going to do about this change in our customer demographic?

Gay people make up an increasing percentage of the population. Married gay couples are going to make up an increasing percentage of the population over the next twenty years, as countries successively allow Gay Marriages. We need a strategy to serve them. They will come to us in this situation. We can “forbid Gay marriage within ISKCON” or whatever we like, but we are here to serve the people of this world, and we must know the present need of human society.

Studying the words of Srila Prabhupada’s private conversations with disciples is vital in forming our own internal conceptual orientation as preachers. Guru mukha padma-vakya, cittete koriya aikya. However, the appropriateness of using these as the public presentation of our position or understanding is open to question. These were conversations with specific people in specific circumstances, and were not necessarily conceived of by His Divine Grace as something that would be paraded out verbatim for the public, especially in the form of “de-contextualized compendiums”. We can at least be sure that everything that was written in the books is for general public consumption.

The effectiveness of “cut-and-paste condemnation” as a preaching strategy is also questionable. I don’t spend all my time telling my son that I know better than him, and that he is less intelligent. I know that, and I act on it in such a way as to provide care and protection for him. I don’t beat him over the head with it.

Completely Rejecting Monogamy as Kaitava-dharma

The initial proposal by some forward-thinking preachers is the idea of “Gay Monogamy”.

Monogamy is not an absolute principle. Polygamy is also an acceptable social arrangement, so there is nothing special about monogamy. Just as we reject vegetarianism as “nothing special” (even rabbits are vegetarian), we reject monogamy as an end unto itself. See Srila Prabhupada’s purport to Srimad Bhagavatam 4.26.6 in this regard.

Prescribing Monogamy therefore is like prescribing vegetarianism. Vegetarianism is still sinful, although less sinful than meat eating. Prabhupada in his strategic approach did not promote vegetarianism - he promoted the eating of Krishna prasadam. In fact he rejected vegetarianism whenever it was presented to him by guests.

Opponents of the Gay Monogamy idea, even while correctly identifying the flaw in the strategy, often fall short because they do not similarly reject the idea of Heterosexual Monogamy. We reject not only Gay Monogamy, but also Heterosexual Monogamy. Many heterosexuals accept Heterosexual Monogamy as a carte blanche for their sense gratification and deny the same sanction to homosexuals. Homosexuals understandably demand the same validation of their sense gratification that the heterosexuals have. We roundly condemn both as the manifestation of the same bogus mentality - sense gratification.

When we do not do this, we end up looking just like all the other heterosexuals - attached to our sense gratification and denying it to others. We may actually personally be like that or not, but that’s not the philosophy. We are not aligned with any group of sense gratifiers, either the so-called left-wing liberals or the so-called right wing conservatives.

The principle that we espouse is not Monogamy, it is Celibacy.

Gay, Straight, Whatever - You Have to be Celibate to Advance.

Brahmacarya means celibacy. To advance in spiritual life you have to be either single and celibate, or married and celibate. Any type of monogamy devoid of celibacy is useless.

Grhastas, or married persons, have a license to engage in sex activity with a purified consciousness for the purpose of procreation. They are not permitted to have unregulated, unrestricted or unlimited sense gratification. When the sexual activity is carried out to procreate good progeny (which presupposes a stable and committed socio-economic and interpersonal relationship environment as a background) then that person is called a grhasta-brahmacari, or celibate householder.

In the case of a gay couple, there is no possibility of procreation, therefore there is no license for sex life. Companionship may be there, but in order to advance in spiritual life they will have to be completely celibate.

Therefore the correct direction to guide a gay couple that comes to the preaching center is toward Gay Celibacy.

Practical Preaching 101: Sthane-sthitha sruti-gatam

jnane prayasam udapasya namanta eva
jivanti san-mukharitam bhavadiya-vartam
sthane sthitah sruti-gatam tanu-van-manobhir
ye prayaso ‘jita jito ‘py asi tais tri-lokyam

“Those who, even while remaining situated in their established social positions, throw away the process of speculative knowledge and with their body, words and mind offer all respects to descriptions of Your personality and activities, dedicating their lives to these narrations, which are vibrated by You personally and by Your pure devotees, certainly conquer Your Lordship, although You are otherwise unconquerable by anyone within the three worlds.” Srimad Bhagavatam 10.14.3

It is a waste of time trying to convince someone to act in such a way that they do not have the adhikara to understand and act on. What is necessary is to give that person sufficient sukrti.

“The embodied soul may be restricted from sense enjoyment, though the taste for sense objects remains. But, ceasing such engagements by experiencing a higher taste, he is fixed in consciousness.” Bhagavad-gita 2.59

It is not advisable to preach to even monogamous heterosexuals to artificially give up sex life within their relationship. The correct angle to emphasize is that they develop solid and healthy habits of hearing and chanting, both the maha-mantra and the sastra, in order to gain philosophical understanding and purification through association with sabda-brahma.

From this everything else will follow naturally, as Lord Brahma says in the above cited verse of Srimad Bhagavatam.

We do not attack single women with descriptions of Vedic culture and its attitude towards “Women’s Independence”, neither should we attack married homosexuals as they begin to filter in to our centers. No-one who is not celibate can be an initiated member or authority in our society, but this Krishna Consciousness movement is meant for all types of men (and women).

We are here to serve everyone.

[1] Statistics New Zealand census information has same-sex couple data for 2001, but no corresponding data for 1991.